OK, so this is my first post, so...hi!

i kinda love / hate public journals. i like writing in general and also enjoy talking about general crap that makes my average life what it is, but at the same time i feel like a dick when people read what i have written (guess i need to get used to sharing emotions and stuff - which is one of the reasons i have signed up). 

so today has been a bit suckey - it was my day off work and was looking forward to spending it with my lovely gf but then her mum came and took her home and im left here on my own.  its not like we are inseparable, its just that i have more fun when im with her.  now i get to spend the rest of the week and weekend at work and wont get to see much of her which is lame indeed. 

im trying to be more positive at the moment as iv been feeling a bit shitty lately, and to be honest, feeling crap is doing my head in.  i hate being sad and stressed and worried, its just no fun at all.  work is worrying me loads cos we are so quiet i have got it into my head that i would be the first one they would let go, so now im dead worried about losing my job.  although it can suck sometimes i do really love being an interior designer and obviously i dont wanna lose my job.  so thats been on my mind loads and having no money really hasnt helped me worry less.  but i guess at the end of the day, i have as much money as i have and theres nothing i can do about it right now, and also, if im gonna lose my job im gonna lose it, not much ni can do there either so i should just get on with it and stop worrying about things i cant change. i have a feeling that sort of thing is easier said than done though.  heres to trying though!!

can i also just say that my lip is caining!?  i had it pierced a few months ago but i swear she has done it on a weird angle and now it won't heal properly. i'll be well bummed out if i end up having to take it out cos its only a month since i had to get rid of my scaffolding cos my ear rejected it! lame body of mine!!!